"...gays are certainly overcoming...no pun intended"

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

Gays are overacheivers.

It's true. Even their porn is of a better quality and a vastly larger quantity.

ESPECIALLY THE FUNNY ONES:



The boys in da hood are playing hoops, and the cracks Jerome is watching. They invite the white slut to join, if he can shoot 2 hoops he can play, if he misses he has to give up his mouth and ass to all the ganstas! Guess what, he misses! Watch as the gangstas have their way and gang-bang this cracka ho in every which way thay can. Would you like to join?




I know this is a gay porno, but seriously this cover is SO GAY ZOMG.

The Can-Am mailbox has been filled with one resounding question: When will Billy Herrington go up against Mark Wolff? Well your prayers have been answered! The result is one of our most visually stunning productions yet. First wiry young newcomer Nick Steel eggs Billy on. Nick's skill and agility on the mat enables him to surprise Billy with more than one ball-breaking move. But he's no match for Billy's brute strength and his tight little ass gets victory-fucked into tomorrow! Next up, leather master Van Darkholme shows off his awesome body in full gear - even in the gym. When Wolff mocks his appearance he challenges him to a fight. Darkholme clearly has the skills to go on to wrestling stardom. But experience counts and Wolff takes him, leaving Darkholme to blow a hot load in the shower. Now there can be only one true Lord of the Lockerroom, so Billy and Mark square-off and give it all they have in an ass slapping, ball grabbing, nipple pinching spectacular. Billy takes round one, forcing Mark to jerk off. Then he challenges Mark to a loser-gets-fucked second round - and, amazingly, Mark accepts! With their virgin asses on the line, can you imagine the action? Find out if either of them actually give it up!

That sounds amazing and I'm a straight girl. This might be the most hilarious porno ever made, someone buy it for me.



Gaywatch. It was bound to happen...

On this bare bun basking Southern California beach, hot and horny surfer dudes always know where to find the biggest swells..
It's not uncommon to see a lusty, lean muscled surfboarder totally entranced, feasting his eyes on the huge bulge that protrudes from the lifeguard's swimsuit. It's "Gaywatch Day" so if you've already had one lifeguard, there's still plenty more to go around!!!

When the hell is 'Gaywatch Day?' I need to mark my calendar, for reals.

...so i can go to the beach...

...with a camera...

...and a strap on...

...yeah.





Check out the drama in this one!

Joey Hart is in the emergency room for the third time. It seems he has "episodic constriction"of his prostate, which creates severe anal tension. Intern Dean Spencer gives the problem everything he's got. His powerful muscles work various dildos, digits and a very large dick before he is able to relieve his patient's distress. And follow-up treatment will certainly be a serious consideration.
Inpatient Jeff White awakens weak and bandaged having narrowly escaped death in a terrible car accident. Internist Gregg Arlen employs his best bedside manner to reassure the frightened young man. Jeff bemoans all the things that he has missed in his life to date including sex. Arlen takes pity on the young virgin as he attempts to relieve his stress and tension with a warm sponge bath, loving cocksucking, rousing sixty-nining and a ride on White's straight up stiff poker, all without Jeff ever having to move. Gregg is total dedication and Jeff looks forward to a long and happy hospital stay.

A couple of interns, Mark Slade and Kristian Brooks, completely exhausted after another punishing 48 hour shift, are in bad need of relaxation and rest. Kristian quickly drifts off to sleep as Mark gives him a massage. But Mark isn't quite finished. He needs relaxation before his rest. So the big hunk goes exploring his buddy's lean, tight physique with some sucking, some rimming and some heated fucking with his big giant of a dick pounding into the depths of Kristian's juicy asshole. Mark shoots a big, powerful load and Kristian gushers in his sleep.

Back in Schwartz' office Pettybone's threats of an investigation are overruled by a Code Pink emergency in the R. Hudson Conference Room. Clay Maverick and Gregg Arlen dash off to the their conference with Tommy Cruise and Ricky Starr where the four explore some medical practices undreamed of in the books. Almost every combination is tried, explored and enjoyed. These experts certainly practice what they practice. Meanwhile Pettybone has poked his head into the R. Hudson Room to observe. When the practitioners come to their awesome climactic explosions, Pettybone passes out and hits the floor. He awakens to find a bemused Dr. Schwanz standing over his hospital gurney. Pettybone has canceled the proposed Advisory Board hearing and decided to check into West Hollywood Hope for a thorough examination. After all, he isn't getting any younger... Everyone deserves the best health care possible. May we suggest West Hollywood Hope. It's good for what ails you. And Mark Slade is just the medicine we all need. After all, West Hollywood Hope is the place where the patient always comes first!

Fuck Grey's Anatomy...someone make a primetime drama outta West Hollywood Hope! Logo, I'm looking at you. It'll be way better than all that weird gay vampire shit you used to have.



Mmmhmm..these guys are about as intimidating as "Hangin' Tough" by New Kids On The Block was. "Are you tough enough?!"



AAAAGGGH SOMEONE BUY THIS FOR ME!!!!!!!

Once I saw a porno called 'Boy Band' and within the first ten minutes it ruined peanut butter for me for LIFE. I don't think this is the same one.



I'm gonna avoid the obvious sequel..."Ugly Cock"

p.s. No boy likes it when you call his peen CUTE.




Exotic and exciting visuals and a believable cast give this youth subculture-inspired video a unique and authentic look, and support St. John's reputation as one of XXX's most artistic directors. Sound, lighting, camerawork are all of a very high order which the sex mostly lives up to.

Who cares about art? All I want from this porno are endless glowstick puns.

ENDLESS!




Ricky Martinez, your penis frightens me.



Remember when sex was really good? Remember when you were really young, when you had just left home had moved to the city on your own, when you were suddenly free, when you were adventurous, when you were always horny and when sex came free and easy? Remember when sex wasn't a game, wasn't political, wasn't frightening, wasn't structured, wasn't role defined, wasn't a job, wasn't a movement, wasn't under a microscope, when it was spontaneous, was mutual, was actually fun? Remember when people had sex and smiled and laughed and even enjoyed it? If you remember all of this, then It's Raining Men is definitely for you. It's a wonderful and varied collection of hot little stud puppies and more fun and excitement than a trip to a pet store.

well, NO, I don't remember any of that...but I'M IN!

Fucking my ex-girlfriend while making her bark like a dog

The title of today's entry is the title of the video we will be viewing today.

No, seriously. This guy is fucking his ex girlfriend while making her bark like a dog:



First off I would like to tell you guys that I type this blog up while I'm at work. Meaning I watch porno at work, (meaning that the people from yesterday's post have the right idea cause I can watch their videos all day long on full blast and it just sounds like I have really eclectic taste in music), and I sit RIGHT NEXT TO THE PRINTER. At any given moment I could be watching this man fucking his ex girlfriend while making her bark like a dog and get caught. Does that make this video more exciting to watch?

No.

A lot can be said about this video, and luckily the poster of this video wrote us up a little synopsis:

LOL Well you know a lot of people ask me....."Hey AleXxX how do you get the chicks to always swallow?" or "How do you get a chick to do this or do that?" Well the answer is to be the dominant one in the bedroom ... And as you can see in this clip...if you can get your girlfriend to bark during sex (and on camera no less) then I don't there is anything you CAN'T GET her to do .... Hope that helps =) On a side noter this is a 100% amateur scene and something I just did out of the spur of the moment and I love the fact that she fights me on the topic and then caves as I put my cock deep into her pussy...I then love it as she moans out of pleasure...that wonderful mix of pain and pleasure...this could easily be one of my favorite moments...enjoy and remember you can always see more at AleXxXWild.com

...

I don't know about any of you other girls out there, but:

IF I'M ALREADY FUCKING WHAT LOOKS TO BE NICK CARTER CIRCA FIRST ALBUM BACKSTREET BOYS IF HE LIVED IN LAGUNA BEACH AND SHAVED HIS HEAD AS PART OF HIS HAZING TO GET INTO THE SPUR POSSE ON CAMERA THEN I'M PROBABLY DOWN FOR FAR MORE THAN JUST BARKING LIKE A DOG!

I know I'm sort of repeating the point he made already, but do you think his "dominance" in the bedroom had anything to do with it? Alex..or AlexXx, makes it seem like if you can get a girl to bark during sex you can get her to do anything, but I think it's more like once you have overcome the hurdle of getting her to fuck you on camera so you can post it online...barking is probably the least of her worries.

Anyway, I will stop splitting hairs here.

I love this video, because I love this girl. I've been in an awkward sexual situation or two, but this girl by far wins. The way she handles it is AMAZING:

Boy: You're gonna fucking BARK
Girl: (rolls eyes) barking.

Seriously, she didn't even skip a beat. And I like to think that she is that witty, and not the more likely reason of her having gone through the awkward on camera beginners sadomasochism sex before.

It's subtle, how she shows who is REALLY in charge here. He may sound "threatening" and even a little dominant, but she is the one who is really in control...and he knows it.

You know how I can tell? Because he went to all the trouble to indicate that this is his EX-girlfriend. Making it sound like he posted this video for sweet sweet revenge on the dumb girl who he used and who probably dumped him puts him back in the driver's seat. But all it takes is a roll of the eyes and a sarcastic "barking" about 4 minutes in to show me whats really going on.

I give this video a C for just being kind dumb but that girl gets an A for sure. There seems to be a "Barking Orgins" video available, and I am excited to revisit with quick-witted barking girl very soon!


p.s. thanks to Shaina for the heads up on this video!