90210 Worthy Art

I've been trying to find a way to bounce back from the scat entry. It's really hard to bounce back from people eating shit and vomiting and eating that too.

Luckily, I have some resourceful readers to help me in these dark days. Like Shaina, who is the little angel sent from heaven that found us the subject of today's post:

Microsoft Paint Porno!

This holds a special place in my heart, as I am known around these internet parts as "MS Painter Elite." No seriously, I am. I can't tell you how long it took me to jump on the Photoshop bandwagon because I loved Paint so much. I'll spare you my theories about Paint as a minimalist art movement in protest to the oversaturation of photo-rendering programs and the false ideal of perfection they present.

YEAH. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

This post is gonna be image heavy as fuck, cause 90% of these are worth writing about.


Horny Ravers go at it on the dance floor.

Clearly. I mean the disco ball and confetti ceiling are a staple at any rave. All jokes aside, I have to point out how awesome those stick-figures expressions are. Best line drawing rendering of porno face EVER.


Bizarre contortion - BARELY LEGAL!

I get the bizarre contortion part, and I am assuming they are barely legal by the lack of pubic hair on either party. Then I realized I just looked at that Paint drawing to see if it had pubic hair and I remembered how weird being me really is.


Blonde whore about to get it

She's balding and he has herpes. What a pair!


Dripping wet pussy stuffed full of cock

Not all of these are horrible. But I hate that her vagina drips lavender... Also I want to use his pubic hair as a pillow. IS THAT SO WRONG?


Happy Valentine's Day!

.... no thanks.



This guy knows how to rock!

I don't know what this has to do with rocking, but this is fucking brilliant. I could totally see this framed in the living room at Kelly Taylor from 90210's house. Like one of her drunk mom's ex boyfriends would have made that for her and she thought it was so rockin' that she framed it and hung it up. Yep.


Bitch gets fucked during her PERIOD

I know this is kinda unecessarily gross, but can someone make me a shirt of that girl doing the "OMG-blood-is-pooling-in-mid-air-next-to-my-vagina" dance?


Guy with dick ears visits doctor of perversion (Click for full size)

...say it with me now:

WTF??


Coffee monster gets taunts some chick with a COFFEE COCK!!

That coffee is totally gonna rape that chicken.



Doggy style anal butt slut

I posted that one not so much for the art and more for the title. Anal Butt Slut is officially my new favorite phrase.


Cock squirts all over her face

This is exactly how I envisioned my first blowjob when I was younger.


oh the horror

And this is pretty much how said first blowjob went. Her face is priceless.


But MSPaint porn doesn't stop there. They cover just about everything I've ever covered:

Bukkake


Toys


Orgies


Gay Porn


Scat


Alien


Dinosaur


Necrophilia


Hentai


And even things we haven't gotten to yet, like:

Beastiality


Watersports


Robots with penis teeth


um...Dark??


...Metaphysical?!?!?!...


yeah... i dont know
that rendered me punctuation and capitalization-less

Fan Art


I'm not as excited about this as I was at the beginning of the post.

It's here.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Most Discussed

**IF YOU READ THIS LIL PORNO MINE ON A MAC AND YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE VIEWING THE VIDEOS (with the exception of that AleXxX video that got deleted last week and I've been too lazy to remove the post) YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK INTO WHAT SORT OF PLUGINS YOU NEED TO VIEW VIDEOS. I WAS ON A MAC THIS WEEKEND AND IT WORKED JUST FINE BECAUSE THE OWNER OF SAID MAC HAD THE RIGHT PLUGINS. YOU ARE A LOSER...SHAINA :)**

I was trolling xtube looking for the rumoured Its Chris Crocker videos, (which I couldn't find. And have since decided I do not want to see if they DO exist), when I saw that there is a most discussed section.

Hmm what are the people talking about on Xtube?

Well, apparently it's this:



I said before I don't ever really want to make fun of someone's genitalia, but...

WTF IS GOING ON THERE?

Everyone on Xtube seems to share my confusion:


what is that?!?!


Added by ezdzit20 on 5 months

what the hell


Added by hartbreakkid85 on 5 months

My sentiments exactly.

But then I got to thinking that it's probably a hermaphrodite. Which is something I don't come across to often. She-males, chicks with dicks, what have you are one thing... being born with both sets of privates is a whole 'nother thing, ya know what I'm sayin'? (omg sorry I just watched that Chris Crocker video again.)

I got all excited for the possiblity of hermaphrodite porn, so I looked to see if the person who posted it had other videos. The person who posted it, who's Xtube username is literally arandomusername had only one other video.



Now I'm even more confused.

Let's go over what we know so far:

Male characteristics:
1. Flat Chest
2. Penis?

Female characteristics:
1. Labia...really huge labia
2. Clitoris?

Yeah seriously, this is getting me nowhere so I turned my attention away from the video and to what little information that was available about arandomusername, (I feel like I'm trapped in an updated version of one of SNL's It's Pat! skits...it's username is even neutral as hell, geez!)

I started with the video's tags: boner, cock, ftm (female to male...A HINT!), jacking, jerkoff, transman (another clue), small, and tman.

Lest you think I am that well educated in the world of sex, let me tell you right now that I had no idea what ftm meant. So I clicked on the tag and sure enough, several other videos of basically the same thing popped up: unidentifiable genitalia being masturbated by its owners.

So I had not stumbled upon some hermaphrodite porn (alas, another day dear readers) but something completely new that had never crossed my mind. I was so used to seeing chicks with dicks, that I didn't know when an actual chick with a "dick" was right in front of my face!

(Also readers, remind me when I finally DO post about She-males to talk about Absolute T-Girls.)


Anyway, now that we know what's going on here, the video sort of loses it's mystique don't you think?

So let's see what else Xtubers are talking about:



This video is a little long for what it is, so you really only need to watch it for a minute or so to figure out whats going on...unless you want to get to like 3:45 where his penis looks like it's died.

I originally clicked on this video because it was called: Handsfree edging with aneros and I though that meant this guy was gonna stick a handsfree cellphone device up his ass. Yeah, it took some googling before I realized he wasn't.

The device he's using is sort of genius. You stick the prostate massager up your ass and the stimulation on your prostate cause you to clench down, thus causing the other part of the device to press down on your perineum...which delays your orgasm.

So you don't have to touch yourself. Hands Free. Get it? ...sorry.

One more thing, the first comment for this video is:

don't know if it means much, but your cum on your shirt looks like a scorpion.


Added by gruntlo on 4 months

It does!

The Death Of This Lil Porno Mine?

The federal government is proposing regulations that would effectively kill adult social-networking sites. WHICH WOULD BASICALLY DESTROY THIS BLOG! This is being done under the guise of fighting child pornography. You have until September 10 to object to these regulations. It’s easy to do and essential. GO HERE:
http://www.thetaskforce.org/activist_center/say_no_to_section_2257

What’s the Deal?

The Department of Justice is proposing regulations to implement a federal law designed to combat child pornography, known as Section 2257. The law was first enacted in 1998 and was amended in 2006 and significantly expanded to include regulation of the Internet.

While many of the regulations pertain to companies that produce adult entertainment magazines and videos (and are extremely burdensome), they would also affect anyone who uses an adult social-networking site. Here’s how:

The regulations would require the people running a site to get and maintain personal information from every user (that means you) who posts a "sexually explicit" photo, including your photo ID (driver’s license, passport, or military ID).
The regulations would allow the Attorney General to conduct warrantless searches at will on the sites’ records, including your personal information.
There are few safeguards over what the FBI can do with the information it obtains.

If a site operator fails to comply with the regulations, he or she would face a prison sentence of up to 5 years.
For more detailed information on Sec. 2257, go to http://www.thetaskforce.org/downloads/misc/2257_fact_sheet.pdf.
Obviously, none of this has anything to do with child pornography. Instead, it is a blatant attempt to end the ability of consenting adults to use adult social-networking sites to meet other people for sex. Obviously, if these regulations go into effect, they will kill this industry.

What You Can Do

The Department of Justice has published these proposed regulations and the public has until September 10 to comment on them.

We need to generate thousands of comments objecting to the proposed regulations – and it’s easy to do via e-mail. Just follow the instructions below.

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Inc. is involved in this fight because we believe sexual freedom is a fundamental human right and we don’t think the government has any place in relations between consenting adults. These regulations are part of our government’s hypocritical and punitive views about sex, sexuality, and reproductive rights. All of this – from abstinence-only sex education programs to the elimination of funding for accurate and explicit HIV prevention programs – fall hardest on gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

For more information about the organizing, advocacy, and public education work of the Task Force, visit www.thetaskforce.org.

Take Action Now

Here is a sample letter with the e-mail address you need to send it to (Admin.ceos@usdoj.gov) and the subject you must include in the subject line of your e-mail (Section 2257 Docket No. CRM 104).

Please also consider a contribution to keep this advocacy work going.

Sample Letter

To: Admin.ceos@usdoj.gov
Re: Section 2257 Docket No. CRM 104
To the U.S. Department of Justice:

I am writing to object to the proposed "Section 2257" regulations.

These regulations are complicated and burdensome on legitimate businesses, and have very little to do with protecting children and minors from pornography. Their reach — particularly into adult social-networking internet services — is overbroad, unnecessary, and would allow the federal government to search and seize personal records of adult consumers without a warrant; a clear violation privacy and constitutional rights.

Specifically, I object to the following provisions:

The regulations (18 § 2257(b)(1) and (c)) would force adult social-networking services to obtain and maintain personal information about their users, including the user's photo ID (driver’s license, passport, or military ID). (I must note that the sites already require users to affirm that they are over 18 years of age.) Many sites have tens of thousands of users and it is simply not possible for them to do this. Moreover, many people who use these sites want to maintain their privacy, for any number of reasons, including the sad fact that they might face discrimination and/or violence if others found out they were using these sites. It is still legal in 31 states to discriminate against someone who is gay or bisexual, and in 41 states if the person is transgender. The combination of the recordkeeping requirements and many users’ fears about providing such information will kill the entire industry.

All of this is overkill given that adult social networking sites were not identified as a problem in the production, distribution and downloading of child pornography in the Department of Justice’s own report on "Child Pornography on the Internet" (May 2006).


The regulations (18 § 2257(g) and under 28 C.F.R. § 75.5) would allow the Attorney General to conduct unannounced warrantless searches at will on the sites’ records, including reviewing and presumably seizing the personal information on site users. This is an egregious abuse of government authority, an unwarranted invasion of privacy and, in my opinion, a violation of the Fourth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.


The regulations (28 C.F.R. § 75.5(4)) provide insufficient safeguards over what the government can do with the information it obtains through its searches. This, by itself, has a chilling effect on the ability of people to engage in constitutionally protected activities. As noted above, this is particularly dangerous for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.
Let me be clear: I believe children need to be protected from coercion into pornography and it is important for the federal government to do all that it can to insure those protections. Sadly, many of the provisions of the proposed 2257 regulations do nothing to address child pornography, but instead are clearly aiming at destroying an industry and ending a legal and valuable way for adults to meet one another.

Sincerely, (your name)------------

Related Websites:
http://www.thetaskforce.org/activist_center/say_no_to_section_2257
http://www.freespeechcoalition.com/FSCView.asp?action=preview&coid=137
http://worldcantwait.org/

We Will Never Forget

I went to a show called "Fucked up and illegal videos" this weekend. It was basically a comedy show that revolved around every video you thought was funny like 3 months ago..(uh, there are seriously people out there who are JUST BARELY seeing Chocolate Rain for the first time. Ridiculous.)

Overall the show was pretty shitty, but they did show the video I am about to show you now. I don't know if this video made the show better. In fact, when I watch this video, I forget everything I know.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...9/11 porn, aka FLESH:



Yeah I know...it's less porn and more WTF.

The director is trying to make a statement here, but I have no fucking clue what it was. It's loud, but it ain't clear.

One last thing: you know that confusing piece of shit cost like $100,000 to make. Someone pay me $100,000 and I'll dedicate my life to interpreting that video for you.