Robin Hood was a Hottie

DISCLAIMER: I want to take a moment out now to say that I don't intend on making fun of Furries as a whole. As with any fetish, there are bits and pieces of it that are hilarious and that's exactly what I am going to focus on here with furries.

In fact, I would like to also provide this link to a transcipt of the old MTV show Sex2k that introduced me to Furries. It's amazingly interesting and educational:

http://pressedfur.coolfreepages.com/press/sex2k/

I won't lie, there's a whole lot of that transcript that's hilarious too. Like the whole conversation the guy has with his mom.

Marilyn>> OKAY, SO TELL ME, WHAT IS YOUR VISION FOR YOUR FUTURE? HOW DOES IT INCORPORATE YOUR FURRINESS? HOW WILL YOU DO THAT? WHAT WILL IT LOOK LIKE?

Yote>> IT'S THE SAME--

Marilyn>> OKAY, LET'S PRETEND-- LET'S PRETEND THAT THIS IS THE SAME DAY OF THE WEEK TEN YEARS FROM NOW. WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE?

Yote>> VIRTUALLY THE SAME THINGS PROBABLY. I DON'T KNOW.

Marilyn>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "VIRTUALLY THE SAME THINGS"? YOU'RE GOING TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF THE VIDEO--

Yote>> WORK, WORK, WORK.

Marilyn>> WHAT IS YOUR WORK GOING TO BE, MICHAEL? WHAT DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AS DOING, MICHAEL? WHAT DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AS DOING?

Yote>> I DON'T KNOW.

Marilyn>> DO YOU SEE YOURSELF SERVING UP HAMBURGERS AT McDONALD'S?

Yote>> I HAVE TO GO OUT AND DO THINGS AND FIND OUT WHAT I LIKE. I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING. ALL I'VE DONE IS SCHOOL ALL MY LIFE, MOM. HOW CAN I TELL YOU WHAT I LIKE RIGHT NOW?

Marilyn>> [sighs]

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Furries are fucking intriguing. And after all the research I have done, I can honestly say that them dressing in full animal costumes for sexual pleasure is totally the least interesting thing about them.

I can admire a fetish community that is just that, a community. It makes me wonder if the Scat community has created the same sort of world for themselves, albeit a much more private one. (I feel an all-scat entry coming on. But I'm afraid doing one might catapult me into early retirement from the porn blogging business.)

Really, the world of Furries is a complicated one. I run a real risk of boring you to death with all I have learned, (especially since they have such an extensive Fur-cabulary...I did not make that up...that they have their own WikiFur), so it might be best to just get to what I found to be the truly comical side of Furry Fandom.

FURRIES HAVE THEIR OWN EBAY.

It's called FurBuy. It's pretty sparse as far as content at first glance, and extremely difficult to navigate (particularly if you have no interest in creating an account. Although I ended up making one when I saw that someone was selling a Nintendo DS for $75. But then I was looking at the DVDs for sale and the only one on there was the Robin Hood animated Disney cartoon and I went into a panic because when I was younger I thought the fox from that cartoon was hot and I was afraid that maybe I was a Furrie. Then I remembered that I don't want to have sex with anyone in a mascot uniform. I think. Eeeeek!)

But FurBuy gets really interesting once you start browsing the artwork selection. For $15 and up, you too can own any one of these VERY DISTURBING PIECES:









THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A HIPPO??



That doesn't look anything like a Hippo?!?



Nice braids...

Now, I am a little bummed because a few days ago there was a print of "Velociraptor laying eggs during intercourse" for sale, but I guess the auction ended.

Luckily, the dog penis bookmarks are still available:



1 day, 3 hours left guys!






p.s. The Pron feels justified in thinking the fox from Robin Hood was hot. His swagger was right and his game was tight!

XXX-Files

I'm a little disturbed, readers. Amazingly enough in my quest for online porno, I don't run into scat that often. Today was the exception, as I ran into a doozy. Lucky for you, my intention is not to gross you out, so you will be spared. (but if you REALLY want in on it, find me on AIM at Zombianca...wow, did I just give out my AIM name to potential scat enthusiasts?? Oh well...)

Anyway, we all know that porno isn't always free online. And as much as I love being the one to filter through all this porn on your behalf, readers, my bank account just isn't ready for me to start subscribing to pay porn sites. Well, that and the fact that I WRITE THIS BLOG AT WORK. Maybe things will change when I get a home computer, but until then...free is how we roll.

But that doesn't mean that pay sites are completely useless. In fact, let me show you some sites that I would actually consider paying for, and some that are just plain creative as fuck...no porn pun intended:




SPERMO PLASMOIDS FROM OUTER SPACE

This site is supposed to be the place to find: "The Most Perverted Sex Acts Between Aliens And Porn Stars"... and to be honest, they probably do have that particular market cornered.

But...



That looks an awful lot like a dinosaur to me.



NINJA WHORES

Yes, she's about to use her nunchucks as a dildo. I mean really, what did you expect??

Ninja Whores really doesn't have anything to do with Ninjas. But in a sea of Asian girl porn, you gotta try and stand out somehow I guess.

Now, this next one, I don't think I would actually ever pay for, but I think it deserves a mention:



AUNT MILLIE'S JACK OFF MOVIES

It's just Mature handjob movies, but it earn points for having the following tagline:

"You know you're in control when you have a cock between your hands."

Damn right.



RUSTY SHERIFF'S BADGE

I just wanted to include this one because it taught me that a Rusty Sheriff's Badge is slang for a butthole! Amazing the things you can learn from porn.



INFLATION STATION

You don't even wanna know...

Why humans want to use suction to engorge their body parts until they are almost unrecognizable is beyond me.

One question I would like the answer to though:



Um, WTF are Breasticles?

It's been a long time.

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