XXX-Files

I'm a little disturbed, readers. Amazingly enough in my quest for online porno, I don't run into scat that often. Today was the exception, as I ran into a doozy. Lucky for you, my intention is not to gross you out, so you will be spared. (but if you REALLY want in on it, find me on AIM at Zombianca...wow, did I just give out my AIM name to potential scat enthusiasts?? Oh well...)

Anyway, we all know that porno isn't always free online. And as much as I love being the one to filter through all this porn on your behalf, readers, my bank account just isn't ready for me to start subscribing to pay porn sites. Well, that and the fact that I WRITE THIS BLOG AT WORK. Maybe things will change when I get a home computer, but until then...free is how we roll.

But that doesn't mean that pay sites are completely useless. In fact, let me show you some sites that I would actually consider paying for, and some that are just plain creative as fuck...no porn pun intended:




SPERMO PLASMOIDS FROM OUTER SPACE

This site is supposed to be the place to find: "The Most Perverted Sex Acts Between Aliens And Porn Stars"... and to be honest, they probably do have that particular market cornered.

But...



That looks an awful lot like a dinosaur to me.



NINJA WHORES

Yes, she's about to use her nunchucks as a dildo. I mean really, what did you expect??

Ninja Whores really doesn't have anything to do with Ninjas. But in a sea of Asian girl porn, you gotta try and stand out somehow I guess.

Now, this next one, I don't think I would actually ever pay for, but I think it deserves a mention:



AUNT MILLIE'S JACK OFF MOVIES

It's just Mature handjob movies, but it earn points for having the following tagline:

"You know you're in control when you have a cock between your hands."

Damn right.



RUSTY SHERIFF'S BADGE

I just wanted to include this one because it taught me that a Rusty Sheriff's Badge is slang for a butthole! Amazing the things you can learn from porn.



INFLATION STATION

You don't even wanna know...

Why humans want to use suction to engorge their body parts until they are almost unrecognizable is beyond me.

One question I would like the answer to though:



Um, WTF are Breasticles?