Ouch, my neck.

I have this friend who's favorite thing about sex is going down on a girl. So I feel that I should post this video as a public safety announcement to all others like him, because this is everything that could go wrong in cunnilingus.

I'm kind of excited about this video, because it comes to us from our old friend AleXxX.

Click here for the video

It is titled "Me and Two Chicks" but like AleXxX's past videos, he plays a very small role. Although unlike last time, I wouldn't say this video does anything for women's empowerment. Actually, I don't really know what it says about women.

Things begin innocently enough, (I feel weird gearing up to go into detail here, being that I revealed this blog's existence to my mother last night. She seemed amused and I hope she still will be after this post), one girl sitting on another girl's face. But RIGHT AWAY two things happen:

1. Girl on the top, (we'll call her Honky-I'll explain why in a second) smashes Girl on the bottom's (we'll call her BrokeNeck-I'll get to that too) face with a beautifully Lee Press-on Nailed hand. This is the painful foreshadowing of what's to come.

2. Honky speaks.

At first you don't notice it. But as the video goes on, you realize that if you closed your eyes, it would sound like you were watching a 40-something Southern black woman get eaten out and not what appears to be... P!nk's little sister.

She's white, I assure you:




For a while, it looks to be rough riding for Brokeneck, but nothing too scary. We are treated to some great dialogue from Honky. Gems like:

• I DID cum. I did.
• Oh GIRL. Lick that sheeeeeit.
• Does it taste real good?
• OH Baby Girl

And then our man AleXxX appears. Hooray, or something. He begins to have sex with BrokeNeck which in turn, brings us the two real treats of this video:

At about 1:40 you begin to see how Brokeneck got her name




The pictures don't do it justice. You have to see it. Up, down, up, down, OUCH MY NECK! Seriously that better be the softest fucking mattress on earth or that poor girl is gonna need more than just an AIDs test and some Valtrex tomorrow.

And Honky says this:

"Oh you bit it again....bite it nice though.."

Now, there are many things that deter me from lesbianism. Mainly the fact that I am not attracted to women. But the idea of going down on another girl is a big factor in it too. I don't want some ghetto bitch riding my face and putting me in traction while complaining that I don't bite nicely. YOU'RE RIDING MY FUCKING FACE, CUT ME SOME SLACK HERE!