Just Hangin' Out

In honor of the highly anticipated (i.e. no one gives a shit) Levi Johnston Playgirl Shoot I went through most (if not all) of the Playgirl spreads from 1970-1995.  Honestly, I wasn't aware Playgirl still existed, and that it hadn't made the switch to a gay men's magazine.  Not that I think that women aren't into looking at pictures of naked dudes, but I don't think most of them care.

I even took a survey:

I asked one straight female and one gay male if they enjoyed looking at print photos of nude men (excluding celebrities, just regular guys) or if they were pretty indifferent.

Results:

Straight Female: Pretty indifferent
Gay Male: Enjoyed it

Then I asked if one of the reasons they would look at print of nude males was because the photos had the potential to be funny.

Straight Female: Yes
Gay Male: It's an added bonus!

At the risk of this becoming a masculinity crushing epiphany, I think we can all agree:

Cock and Balls are funny.

Personally, I think Playgirl magazine felt the same way from 1970-1995:

Can you imagine getting your Playgirl in the mail and it featuring some guy and his peen running down a hill?

Ladies, I'll give you time to get a change of panties, because this is gonna be an onslaught of awkward penis.

Playgirl seems to be all about your dick in everyday life.  And Lord knows how many times I've wondered how a penis looks while you are putting on jeans in the snow:

Or when you are putting on socks:

Or when you are out hiking

Or looking at blueprints

Or playing with your cat

or dog

or ...dolphin

 that man is raping that dolphin.

or any other random assortment of daily activities:

 

 

Another fun thing about Playgirl are the Holiday shoots.  Dare I say they are the original Dick In A Box?

 

He got an Ipod Touch, in case you were wondering.

But the most disturbing thing of all, are the sibling shoots:

 

"Bro, Playgirl called.  They want us to be centerfolds.....I dunno, we'll probably just have them take pictures of us lounging around nude together, like we always do."

My favorite thing, and I have saved the best for last, is what I call:

THE PEEK-A-BOO EFFECT

Which is when penis peeks out randomly from clothing...observe:

 

 

 

 

 

I LOVE this one because it couldn't just hang out of his unzipped fly...NOOOOO they had to CUT AN ADDITIONAL HOLE in his pants.  Creative.

So Levi, I hope your shoot goes well.  I am not 100% sure who you are, and I heard you don't show your penis, and thanks to U.S. Code 2257 I can't post any photos after 1995, so I'm not sure if Playgirl is still this awkward.  Hopefully things have improved, but I assure you, your cock and balls are still more silly than sexy.

Until next time:

TAKE THE POLL!

TOMORROW ON THISLILPORNOMINE:

ebay has an adult section?!!?