I occasionally receive topic suggestions from my readers, which are ALWAYS welcome. (Although, you guys can all lay off on the she-male suggestions. I would like a day to go by without she-male porn in my inbox...but really, who wouldn't?)
And while all topic suggestions are welcome, I'm not always going to post about what you think would make a good read.
Unless it's Gay Cum Farts.
I love that I have hit a point in my life where someone saw this video and thought of me. "Ah, look at that guy farting cum out of his ass...The Pron would LOVE this!" You guys are awesome, really.
Now this same person, also suggested I take a look at "The Art of The Cream Pie."
...well I do love art:
I tried searching for 'Cream Pie Art' on XTube, but that came up with nothing. So we'll have to settle for a video that boasts itself as THE BEST CREAMPIE VIDEO EVER!!!! ...with all those exclamation points.
OH GOD IS THAT WHAT THAT IS???
I hate it when I'm watching porn and I think something is one thing and it ends up being TOTALLY different. I thought a creampie (I keep accidentally typing 'creampit') was when a guy ejaculates into the slit of a girls privates... cause they call girl parts a Pie sometimes and that would be the Cream... do you follow my logic?
I've also learned a lot about what this particular reader is into: Regurgitating Semen. Mmmmm I'll never eat Cool Whip again.
The next thing our Sloppy Semen Seconds enthusiast (yeah, start commenting and you too will receive a sassy nickname based on your porno preferences!) suggested was BBWs/Chubby Chasers. I feel confident in the path that they have led me on, even though this isn't very specific.
Let's see what's been favorited most in the BBW section.
Ok, no, let's not. Cause it's a ten minute blowjob video and the girl is wearing sunglasses.
LAME!
Since you're helping me out so much today readers, can any of you tell me what STUPID EDITING PROGRAM WITH THE BLUE BACKGROUND AND WHITE FONT EVERYONE ON XTUBE IS USING???? I have such a pet peeve with that thing, mostly because it helps people make videos like this one:
Seriously, could anything be sexier than this video coupled with the "Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle" commentary?
The last thing Sloppy Semen Seconds With A Side Of Boob Flop suggested was for me to peek into the world of celebrity sex tapes. I was excited for this cause I heard Amy Fisher...yeah THAT Amy Fisher...just released a sex tape. But is it on XTube? Noooooo. Is it on PornoTube? Noooooo. You know what I get? This:
I'm a little disturbed, readers. Amazingly enough in my quest for online porno, I don't run into scat that often. Today was the exception, as I ran into a doozy. Lucky for you, my intention is not to gross you out, so you will be spared. (but if you REALLY want in on it, find me on AIM at Zombianca...wow, did I just give out my AIM name to potential scat enthusiasts?? Oh well...)
Anyway, we all know that porno isn't always free online. And as much as I love being the one to filter through all this porn on your behalf, readers, my bank account just isn't ready for me to start subscribing to pay porn sites. Well, that and the fact that I WRITE THIS BLOG AT WORK. Maybe things will change when I get a home computer, but until then...free is how we roll.
But that doesn't mean that pay sites are completely useless. In fact, let me show you some sites that I would actually consider paying for, and some that are just plain creative as fuck...no porn pun intended:
SPERMO PLASMOIDS FROM OUTER SPACE
This site is supposed to be the place to find: "The Most Perverted Sex Acts Between Aliens And Porn Stars"... and to be honest, they probably do have that particular market cornered.
But...
That looks an awful lot like a dinosaur to me. 
NINJA WHORES
Yes, she's about to use her nunchucks as a dildo. I mean really, what did you expect??
Ninja Whores really doesn't have anything to do with Ninjas. But in a sea of Asian girl porn, you gotta try and stand out somehow I guess.
Now, this next one, I don't think I would actually ever pay for, but I think it deserves a mention:
AUNT MILLIE'S JACK OFF MOVIES
It's just Mature handjob movies, but it earn points for having the following tagline:
"You know you're in control when you have a cock between your hands."
Damn right.
RUSTY SHERIFF'S BADGE
I just wanted to include this one because it taught me that a Rusty Sheriff's Badge is slang for a butthole! Amazing the things you can learn from porn.
INFLATION STATION
You don't even wanna know...
Why humans want to use suction to engorge their body parts until they are almost unrecognizable is beyond me.
One question I would like the answer to though:
Um, WTF are Breasticles?
Posts
All Comments
