LOL

I'm sorry about earlier, with the Smegma and everything.

Let's be friends again. Here, have this lulzy 'shop of Scott Speedman, George Clooney, and James France as a peace offering:

:D

TOMORROW ON THIS LIL PORNO MINE

See you then.

Hit Me Baby One More Time!

Britney Spears Porn

MEGA POST!!!!!

Have you guys heard the new Britney Spears song, "3"?

Well.. it's about threesomes, and in my opinion, double penetration:

I'm pretty sure at one point she says "Gettin' down with DP" but that's just me...

(by the way, this is a video of Francois Sagat, the peacock zombie from this post singing "Gimme More" by Britney Spears.  we have come full circle)

Anyway, Britney Spears doing something that pushes the envelope of conservative sexuality is not anything new or even post-worthy, but it did get me thinking:

Have you guys ever considered the sheer volume of Britney Spears porn out there?

It ranges for mildly disturbing to downright hilarious, and frankly, if all this shit existed online about me, I'd go crazy and shave my head too.

I know that being famous you basically forfeit your right to privacy and that Internet is a free forum and all that, and I am aware that any one of us could have our faces badly photoshopped onto some hardcore porn... but I don't think some of these would ever happen to just anyone:

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS TO SHOW YOU HER BUTTHOLE!

This is what I think "3" is about.

One way to cover up your terrible photoshop skills.

Horrifying because I'm pretty sure that face photo is from when she was 16 or 17. Blech...

This one isn't so bad.  If she had ever broken down and done Playboy it might've looked like this one and the next two.

 

And if she had ever done Hustler it would've looked like this.

This one will always be my favorite.  I have posted it before and it still makes me laugh hysterically.

This one has that detached Real Doll effect where she just looks all dead in the eyes, not that she doesn't often look that way normally, but you know what I mean.

This... I don't even know.

See?  I just showed you all of those and that isn't even scraping the top of the barrel of badly manipulated nudes. You never took nudes in your youth for fear that they would end up online and your future children may see...well imagine if website after website just went ahead and did it for you.

But those are just pictures! Thankfully no one has CGI'd her head onto an existing porn video (yet) but there are also a couple of interesting videos dedicated to dear Britney:

Be warned, the video above is boring as fuck.  Watch 30 secs and you've seen the whole thing.

Don't you just want to tell him Britney can't hear him?

But lest you think that all videos about Britney are just boring, bad quality jerk off videos, I now present to you...

BRITNEY REARS 2: I WANNA GET LAID

So that's my Britney Spears Porn Mega Porn Post.  I hope you laughed, cried, cringed, and got out with a full head of hair.

Photoshop for fun and profit

Do you have photoshop, or any other photo editing program?

If so, what do you use it for?

If your answer was: "Why, I use to it badly splice the heads of celebrities on naked bodies that are clearly not their own," then I want to talk to you.

One reason is because some of you are fucking AMAZING AT IT and I want to know how much money something like this photo below will make you:




And the other reason is because I consider myself a half decent photoshopper, and I think I could do a better job than some of you are doing.

FOR EXAMPLE:












LOL

90210 Worthy Art

I've been trying to find a way to bounce back from the scat entry. It's really hard to bounce back from people eating shit and vomiting and eating that too.

Luckily, I have some resourceful readers to help me in these dark days. Like Shaina, who is the little angel sent from heaven that found us the subject of today's post:

Microsoft Paint Porno!

This holds a special place in my heart, as I am known around these internet parts as "MS Painter Elite." No seriously, I am. I can't tell you how long it took me to jump on the Photoshop bandwagon because I loved Paint so much. I'll spare you my theories about Paint as a minimalist art movement in protest to the oversaturation of photo-rendering programs and the false ideal of perfection they present.

YEAH. SERIOUS BUSINESS.

This post is gonna be image heavy as fuck, cause 90% of these are worth writing about.


Horny Ravers go at it on the dance floor.

Clearly. I mean the disco ball and confetti ceiling are a staple at any rave. All jokes aside, I have to point out how awesome those stick-figures expressions are. Best line drawing rendering of porno face EVER.


Bizarre contortion - BARELY LEGAL!

I get the bizarre contortion part, and I am assuming they are barely legal by the lack of pubic hair on either party. Then I realized I just looked at that Paint drawing to see if it had pubic hair and I remembered how weird being me really is.


Blonde whore about to get it

She's balding and he has herpes. What a pair!


Dripping wet pussy stuffed full of cock

Not all of these are horrible. But I hate that her vagina drips lavender... Also I want to use his pubic hair as a pillow. IS THAT SO WRONG?


Happy Valentine's Day!

.... no thanks.



This guy knows how to rock!

I don't know what this has to do with rocking, but this is fucking brilliant. I could totally see this framed in the living room at Kelly Taylor from 90210's house. Like one of her drunk mom's ex boyfriends would have made that for her and she thought it was so rockin' that she framed it and hung it up. Yep.


Bitch gets fucked during her PERIOD

I know this is kinda unecessarily gross, but can someone make me a shirt of that girl doing the "OMG-blood-is-pooling-in-mid-air-next-to-my-vagina" dance?


Guy with dick ears visits doctor of perversion (Click for full size)

...say it with me now:

WTF??


Coffee monster gets taunts some chick with a COFFEE COCK!!

That coffee is totally gonna rape that chicken.



Doggy style anal butt slut

I posted that one not so much for the art and more for the title. Anal Butt Slut is officially my new favorite phrase.


Cock squirts all over her face

This is exactly how I envisioned my first blowjob when I was younger.


oh the horror

And this is pretty much how said first blowjob went. Her face is priceless.


But MSPaint porn doesn't stop there. They cover just about everything I've ever covered:

Bukkake


Toys


Orgies


Gay Porn


Scat


Alien


Dinosaur


Necrophilia


Hentai


And even things we haven't gotten to yet, like:

Beastiality


Watersports


Robots with penis teeth


um...Dark??


...Metaphysical?!?!?!...


yeah... i dont know
that rendered me punctuation and capitalization-less

Fan Art


I'm not as excited about this as I was at the beginning of the post.