Pussy.

This is kind of a personal rant.  I just want to warn you in advance that this is not a pleasant post about pussy.  This post will have links to very graphic imagery.  Imagery that This Lil Porno Mine does not condone in any way, shape or form.  I just want to make a point about the warped decency standards on the internet. 

There is one thing... ONLY ONE FUCKING THING.. that I have ever seen on the internet that I vowed I would never want to see ever again.

I have gone to great lengths to avoid this thing.

And I have to be honest.. the last place I thought I would find it is on FUCKING FACEBOOK.

See, Japan has this fetish niche that involves women in high heels crushing kittens to death by stomping on their heads.


(note that the link there has images from the very video I saw.  click at your own risk.)


Obviously I have a personal problem with that.  I don't need to go any further than that.  This is my blog and I already posted about that horrible bear video, so I made a conscious decision to leave most animals dying out of my blog.


However, I am bringing all of this up now, because I have a bone to pick... and that bone is with you, FACEBOOK.

When I tried to make the This Lil Porno Mine fan page, (which is really thriving with all four friends because people are afraid to befriend a porn comedy site because their parents might see. oh noes! like your parents don't already see all your fucking drunken status updates and questionable photos. believe me, we are the least of your parent's concerns.  pussies), I had a lot of trouble, because Facebook's weird standards of decency prohibit the word "PORNO" in a username.

Really?

This coming from the website that allowed the whole "kick a ginger day" debacle?

The website that allows a Pro-Rape/Anti-Consent group to exist FOR MONTHS?

Fine.  So I got over that hurdle by making "porno" and "mine" one word.  And all was well.

But this thorn remains in my side, Facebook, and I can't let it go.  Especially now, when I see that once again... it's not okay to mention the word "porno" but it's totally fucking okay to have more than one photo album of you murdering a cat?

Can someone explain this to me, please?

Can someone explain why this fan page can not only exist but can also have photos like this up like it's no big deal, but I can't have the word "porno" in my username?


Social Networking doesn't work because like society, it can't be policed in a way that makes sense.

Fuck you, Facebook.

Fuck you, Facebook, for banning photos of women breast-feeding their babies but allowing rape and animal abuse to live on your servers.

Fuck you, Facebook, for having no other priorities other than making sure I might get a "dislike" button, and that Farmville runs more smoothly.  Govern all, or govern none, but take some responsibility for the shit you DO let slip through the cracks. 

Myspace would.

Count Cockula

Vampires are so hot right now.

So hot that it makes you want to stick your dick into a rubber tube with fangs, right?

I thought so.

Vampires are so hot right now you just want to fuck a vampire cape while wearing a vampire cape, right?



Vampires are so hot right now that you made a four part stop motion animation series of your goth doll biting your dick, right?



Vampires are so hot right now that you actually went out a made the world's first (and pretty decent looking) Vampire Twink TrueBlood parody porno, right?



Vampires are so hot right now that you made a really shitty vampire movie of your own where you didn't even bother to spell "seduced" right and just wore fangs while some girl licked your boobies and then tried to be funny by feasting on cum rather than blood, right?



Ugh. WRONG

MOVING

THIS LIL PORNO MINE IS MOVING.

We are moving to THISLILPORNOMINE.COM. Sorry, I have never built a website, let alone a sort-of porn site, so it's taking me a minute.

WE WILL BE ALL MOVED IN SOON I'M SORRY. I PROMISE IT WILL BE AWESOME.

moving fucking sucks.

Save That Bear

I use the whole 'Raping my eyes' thing here a lot, and I thought that I meant it until now. But internet has finally conquered me.

I'm gonna go on a bit of a rant here, but The Pron is angry and needs to vent.

I hope that the current trend of shocking one note video sites ends shortly. Porn is supposed to be a parallel to society, and if you go by that logic then the ratio is this:

2girls1cup is to all TV being reality TV during the WGA strike:ShakeThatBear is to America finally airing executions on television

Shake That Bear goes pretty much like this:

A women shoots a bear out of a tree
Once the bear falls, the woman and another man proceed to have sex on the bear
Apparently during this video the man tells the woman repeatedly to "Shake that bear.."
They finish, the woman has some whiskey and the dogs drag the bear away.

Below are some screencaps of this ridiculousness:






Now, I would recommend watching this video about as much as I would recommend relying on Perez Hilton for real news. But the sad part is that many people DO rely on him for news, and just as many people are going to watch this video. I realize that by posting this I have only piqued your curiosity and that no matter what negative things I have to say about this video it will continue to exist.

That being said, I just want to convey this message to you:

I've watched 2 Girls 1 Cup about 20 times now without ever flinching. I've posted about necrophilia, I've seen (and won't post) rape videos that were probably real, and I've seen videos involving animals that weren't cruel but probably aren't legal in any way.. all this without more than an OMG! reaction.

But Shake That Bear was horrible the moment the bear was hit the first time. After the first shot he starts crying out in pain. From that point on, the video isn't shockingly amusing. It's not even shocking. Humans being horrible to animals should no longer be a shock to anyone, particularly anyone with access to the internet. Nope, this video is just sad. So terribly sad.

And it's only going to get worse, what with the mass popularity of 2girls1cup. There is always going to be a race to see who is more over the top, and now the stakes are higher than ever.

Porn is a reflection on society, and what I see in the mirror sucks.

Sorry I couldn't be funny about this.